Total Pageviews
Wednesday, 18 February 2015
Tuesday, 17 February 2015
Sunday, 15 February 2015
Sunday, 8 February 2015
I like your way of thinking
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
a pregnant lady
A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery.
“Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks.
“I´m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.” – she says.
“I´m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.” – she says.
“Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies.
Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?
:()
State Capitals
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm not a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name all the state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?" The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M! -
yo momma
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Saturday, 7 February 2015
Tuesday, 3 February 2015
Monday, 2 February 2015
by
hey guys imight stop posting for about 4 days but dont worry not only me posting still there are 3 more friends posting
Die from laugh
Do you know when you are watching television and you have the remote control and you are eating a cucumber and instead of eating the cucumber you eat the remote control your brother gets crazy and you both die from laughing.
Funny Tale of a Lost Senior Citizen
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong.
He told me, 'I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'
I continued, 'Well, then why are you crying?'
He added, 'She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite biscuits, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.'
I said, 'Well, why are you crying?'
He said, 'For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then we cuddle until the small hours.'
I inquired, 'Well then, why in the world would you be crying?'
He replied, 'I can't remember where I live.'
The child and his mother.
A curios child asked his mother: "Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?"
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child:"It is because of you, dear.
Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!"
The child replied innocently:" Now i know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head."
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child:"It is because of you, dear.
Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!"
The child replied innocently:" Now i know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)